ME/CFS Support Guide: 10 Ways to Help a Friend or Family Member

Written by: MakeWell

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Published on

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Time to read 6 min


When someone you care about is diagnosed with ME/CFS (Myalgic Encephalomyelitis/Chronic Fatigue Syndrome), it can feel overwhelming, both for them and for you. Unlike more visible conditions, ME/CFS is often misunderstood, and those living with it face not just physical and mental challenges but also the frustration of having their experiences dismissed or minimised.


ME/CFS affects people differently. Some may be able to work part-time with careful energy management, whilst others are housebound or bedbound. The condition can fluctuate, with periods of relative stability followed by crashes that can last days, weeks, or longer. What remains consistent is that people with ME/CFS need genuine support, not judgement, not advice to "just try harder," but practical, thoughtful help that acknowledges the reality of their condition.


If you're wondering how to actually help someone with ME/CFS, here are ten meaningful ways to make a real difference in their life.

1. Take Over Household Tasks


For many people with ME/CFS, ordinary household tasks can be extraordinarily draining. Cleaning, shopping, laundry, and even taking out the bins can consume precious energy reserves that take days to replenish.


How you can help:


  • Offer to do a weekly shop for them, or arrange grocery delivery

  • Take on cleaning tasks like hoovering, mopping, or bathroom cleaning

  • Help with laundry: washing, drying, folding, and putting away

  • Offer to take care of pets (walking dogs, cleaning litter boxes, vet appointments)

  • Help with childcare if they're a parent struggling to manage both illness and parenting


The key is to be specific in your offers. Rather than saying "let me know if you need anything," try "I'm going to the supermarket on Thursday, can I pick up groceries for you?" This makes it easier for someone to accept help without feeling like a burden.

2. Help With Food Preparation


Meal preparation can be one of the most challenging aspects of daily life with ME/CFS. Standing in the kitchen, chopping vegetables, cooking, and cleaning up afterwards can require more energy than someone with ME/CFS has available on a given day.


How you can help:


  • Prepare and deliver ready-to-eat meals that can be frozen

  • Batch cook larger portions when you're making meals for yourself

  • Drop off simple, nutritious foods that require minimal preparation

  • Help with meal planning and prep on days when they have slightly more energy

  • Consider dietary needs they may have (some people with ME/CFS develop food sensitivities)


For those with severe ME/CFS who struggle with chewing or swallowing, soups, smoothies, and soft, easily digestible foods can be particularly helpful.

3. Provide Nutritional Support


Depending on severity, people with ME/CFS may struggle to maintain adequate nutrition. Purchasing food, preparing meals, and even eating can prove extremely difficult. Those who are housebound or bedbound may also be at increased risk of nutritional deficiencies.


What to know: At present, there's no single dietary approach proven to help all people with ME/CFS, as individual needs and abilities vary greatly. However, some people find that certain dietary adjustments may help them manage energy levels and support overall well-being. Organisations like the ME Association offer guidance suggesting that Mediterranean or anti-inflammatory dietary patterns (emphasising whole grains, fresh vegetables and fruits, healthy fats, and varied protein sources whilst limiting highly processed foods, refined carbohydrates, and excessive sugar) may serve as a reasonable foundation for some individuals.


How you can help:


  • Encourage professional nutritional assessment with a healthcare provider or registered dietician who understands ME/CFS

  • Help implement any professionally recommended dietary changes

  • Prepare foods that align with the dietary guidance they've received

  • Consider practical solutions: pre-cut vegetables, ready-to-blend smoothie ingredients, or meals that reheat easily

  • For swallowing or chewing difficulties: focus on soups, mashed foods, or steamed preparations


Important: Be cautious about suggesting restrictive diets found online. Whilst certain approaches may have helped individuals, dietary decisions should always be made with professional guidance and based on individual assessment. What works for one person with ME/CFS may not work for another.

4. Be There: Just Your Presence Matters


Social isolation is one of the hardest aspects of ME/CFS. Friends often drift away when someone can't keep up with social plans, and the person with ME/CFS may lack the energy to maintain relationships.


How you can help:


  • Visit them at home if they're able to receive visitors (but respect their limits on duration and stimulation)

  • Make phone calls or video chats when in-person visits are too draining

  • Send text messages, even just to say you're thinking of them

  • Watch a film or show together (either in person or remotely)

  • Sit quietly with them; you don't always need to fill the silence with conversation


Ask beforehand what would work best: a short visit might be manageable, but anything requiring concentration or stimulation (loud conversation, multiple visitors) may be too much. Follow their lead on when to leave.

5. Believe Them: Validate Their Experience


People with ME/CFS often aren't taken seriously. They may have been told their symptoms are psychological, that they're exaggerating, or that they should just "push through." This disbelief, from medical professionals, employers, and even family, compounds the difficulty of living with the condition.


How you can help:


  • Listen to their experiences without judgement

  • Believe what they tell you about their symptoms and limitations

  • Don't offer unsolicited advice or suggest they "just need to exercise more"

  • Acknowledge that this is a real, physiological condition

  • Validate the difficulty of what they're going through


Simple statements like "I believe you" or "I can see how hard this is" mean more than you might realise.

6. Ask What Would Actually Help


It's natural to want to help, but assumptions about what someone needs can sometimes miss the mark or inadvertently undermine their sense of independence.


How you can help:


  • Ask directly: "What would be most helpful to you right now?"

  • Regularly reassess (their needs may change as their condition fluctuates)

  • Respect what they say, they can still manage themselves

  • Understand that accepting help can be difficult; don't take refusals personally

  • Offer specific options: "Would it help if I picked up groceries, or would you prefer help with laundry?"


Some days they may need significant assistance; other days they may manage more independently. Let them guide you.

7. Don't Give Up on Them


ME/CFS can last months, years, or decades. There are better periods and worse periods, crashes and slight improvements. It's easy for supporters to feel fatigued and gradually pull away.


How you can help:


  • Maintain consistent contact, even if they can't always respond immediately

  • Understand that cancelled plans aren't personal (they're symptomatic)

  • Continue inviting them to things (with no pressure to attend)

  • Stay positive without toxic positivity ("Just think positive!" isn't helpful)

  • Recognise small improvements without minimising ongoing challenges


Your continued presence signals that their worth isn't tied to their productivity or ability to reciprocate in traditional ways.

8. Help With Organisation and Appointments


Managing healthcare, finances, and administrative tasks requires cognitive energy that may be in short supply. Brain fog (difficulty with memory, concentration, and processing) is common in ME/CFS.


How you can help:


  • Accompany them to medical or specialist appointments

  • Help take notes during appointments (brain fog can make retaining information difficult)

  • Assist with phone calls to insurance companies, healthcare providers, or disability services

  • Help organise medications or supplements

  • Support with financial management or paperwork if needed

  • Advocate for them in medical settings if they're not being taken seriously


Having someone else present can make the difference between getting appropriate care and being dismissed.

9. Look After Yourself


Supporting someone with a chronic condition can be emotionally and physically demanding. If you're a primary caregiver, you're at risk of burnout, which ultimately helps no one.


How you can help (yourself and them):


  • Maintain your own social life and hobbies

  • Seek support from friends, support groups, or counsellors

  • Connect with ME/CFS caregiver communities to share experiences

  • Recognise your own limits

  • Don't feel guilty for needing breaks


You can only provide sustainable support if you're also caring for your own well-being. This isn't selfish; it's necessary.

10. Share the Caring Responsibilities


If possible, distribute caregiving duties amongst multiple people. This reduces the burden on any single person and ensures the person with ME/CFS has more consistent support.


How you can help:


  • Coordinate with other family members or friends to create a support schedule

  • Divide tasks based on people's strengths (one person shops, another cooks, someone else handles administrative tasks)

  • Use group chats or shared calendars to organise support

  • Encourage others who want to help but don't know how


Shared responsibility is more sustainable for everyone involved.

Bonus: Small Comforts Matter


Beyond practical tasks, small gestures can improve quality of life significantly:


  • Help create a comfortable environment: dim lighting, reducing noise, adjusting room temperature

  • Offer gentle comfort, like a hand massage or simply holding their hand

  • Bring items that might help: eye masks, soft blankets, noise-cancelling headphones

  • Consider low-stimulation entertainment: audiobooks, gentle music, nature sounds


These small acts acknowledge their discomfort and show you care about their moment-to-moment experience.

Resources for Those Supporting Someone with ME/CFS


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